I've been thinking of giving up the internet, atleast for the most part. The more i read throughout things the more i want to go on a worldwide killing spree, i despise every fucking creature upon this planet and want no contact at all with any of them, i want to be secluded from and ignorant of everything and everyone out there. I'm am now announcing my retreat into hermit-hood.
I will leave on this last note:

Rape is wrong.
Getting off by the fantasy of raping someone is wrong.
If you have these type of fantasies please shoot yourself immediately.
And all you "feminists" out there go fuck yourself with a bloody knife.
I wish you all nothing but pain and misery.

So heres a big 'ole FUCK YOU to the world. Please do continue on with your ways, watching your pathetic suicides is amusing.
Now leave me be with my hatred and disgust. I hope to see the day when this species is abolished.

Family feud seems to think that Richard Simmon's balls are great radio announcers.

Today is Appreciation for Abortion Providers day, which i had no idea existed, cool.

50% of people in a british survey believe that in some cases women are to blame for their rapes, not cool, castration needed.

I totally missed Kurt Cobain's birthday on Feb. 20, five days after mine, my mind is just too busy. R.I.P. you still inspire us.

I'm exhausted from working at my grandmothers, raking and sacking, packing and unpacking, everyday for 3 weeks 5-6 hours daily. I really shouldn't be doing this with my bad back/neck, i'm falling over and in tears from pain.

My bedroom floor is entirely covered with all kinds of shit, shit i've been meaning to clean for months. I think i may have forgotten what color the carpet is. I wonder how much moldy food is lurking about in there.

I have 1 day left to clean, pack, prepare before leaving to Tulsa. Yippee da do da day.

I need a shower.

I want so badly to lie in a field under the shade of an tree
 far away, from stress, from anger, from everyone, from life
and just stare into the sky

I'm tired, in a way i can't even explain
all i know is i don't want this anymore
this fighting, this hatred, this pain, this life
i want to hop on a bus and go, go as far as my money can take me
to leave all of this, everyone and everything
and start anew, completely clean, stripped of everything
i use to keep a bag behind my door
and told myself every night i would leave
while everyone slept, with just that bag
i never did it
i'm sure i wouldn't have gotten far anyhow

I've been feeling increasingly...sick
mentally i mean, depressed
i've been having thoughts of suicide
i have over 200 pills in my room

but the sky is so pretty tonight 
and i'm so tired

 

 

( Cut for more long senseless emotional ranting )

Current Mood: crazy

( Some thoughts and rants on shaving, small yay, some nays, just some thoughts from a jummbled mind. )

Current Mood: tired

I think Amanda may have gone and shaved her armpits again. I respect her choice to do what she wants, but i can't help feeling sad inside :(

She was the one that gave me the confidence to quit shaving and seeing her shaving is just like a bit of a hit to my own confidence, which is seriously stupid of me, it shouldn't matter, but there are only 3 women who are sortof out in the public eye who don't shave -Amanda Palmer, Beth Ditto and Ani Difranco, but it seems that Amanda may be joining the group of the "socially acceptable", i wander her reason for it, social pressure from becoming more popular? Just felt like it? 
I really must quit my adoration with her, she's only a woman like the rest of us, she has her own life and choices, this shouldn't affect me, but i can't help but sigh, she truly could be a strong inspiration to other girls out there who are struggely with social pressures about there bodies, i know she was for me , sigh i'm alittle sad :/

Video of hairless? Amanda. Cute video though. Still adore her even if i'm alittle disappointed :/

 

 But in some recent photos she looks like shes growing it back in, why do i care so much about this? Pathetic fangirl :/
 

Current Mood: disappointed

( Cut for rape triggers )

( Cut for rape triggers )

Current Mood: enraged

I felt the strange need to mention this teeny tiny little thing that made me smile, i thought of posting it to fuck_shaving but it's just too small and irrelevant, but none the less i will speak of it.

In the current book i am reading, named voices of blood(cheesy i know!), the main character just happens to mention randomly of her unshaved armpits, i was shocked to read this, i had to reread it to be sure i got it right, i have never in any of the many books i've read have i seen a woman mention having armpit hair and in a nice confident way! Also she mentions her pubic hair in an adoring way many times throughout :) This just put a smile on my face, sometimes i feel as if me and the ladies her on livejournal are the only ones in the world who aren't slaves to a razor, it's just so nice to hear it mentioned in other random things, so maybe we are not such a rare breed?

On another note, this new commercial with the gal with looong armpit hair, i'm not sure whether i should be horridly offended or just laugh it off. Are the poking fun at me, trying to say i'm wrong in having armpit hair? Ugh dumbass commercial, i hope it doesn't last long. But it does have me fantasizing of having really long armpit hair, it would be so much fun! I could braid it and stroke it all day, i could use barrettes and bands, i could straigten or curl it, hell i could go to the solon and have it professionally done all beautiful! I like the idea...

Valentines can remind you of your lack of partnership and sex in life, it brings out the impending loneliness in you, but luckliy i was able to stifle all that with lots of scrumptious yummy chocolates, bought by myself for myself, i only wish they would talk back...